I Did It! Ride The Cyclone in Coney Island

Cross it off the list: Ride The Cyclone in Coney Island

There are many first person videos of the experience of riding the Coney Island Cyclone.

I cannot watch these videos without suffering flashbacks.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Let's begin at the beginning, shall we?

The Cyclone loomed large in the distance as I got off the subway.

"You don't scare me," I thought. I was younger and stupider then.

I foolishly thought it best to fortify myself for this adventure with some of the local "cuisine." It was off to Nathan's Hot Dogs for me.

I took a pass on the frog legs (Those could be potential princes I have not kissed yet!) and opted for the legendary franks.

Yum.

I don't think I've ever eaten anything that fast. Thus solidified, I soldiered onward.

As I stood in line for my $6 ticket (SIX dollars!) I heard the whoosh of the beast as it rushed by. Was I scared?!

Yes.

The intense rumbling made it sound like the entire thing was contructed from toothpicks and glue.

Nonetheless, I clambored up the stairs to what I felt in that moment was almost certain doom.

Whoosh.

There it goes again, shaking the entire structure.

I passed to the back of the loading platform, where I was able to check my backpack. This put me in the unenviable position of sitting in THE LAST CAR.

Why is this unenviable? Because you can't see where the drops are. You don't know you're about to plummet down until you hear all the cars in front of you yell some variation on "Oh, FUCK."

There was not one moment of this ride when I did not feel like I was about to die. I can't believe nobody ever has. I mean it.

Oh, and as for the potential for needing chiropractic care as a result:

I attempted to bring my blood pressure down to acceptable levels with what I thought would be a nice relaxing ride on The Wonder Wheel.

It looked innocuous enough... I didn't think anything of it when the ticket taker asked if I wanted "swinger, or no swinger." I giggled and replied, perhaps a bit too loudly, "I'm a SWINGER!" and was promptly directed to a different line.

What I didn't realize was that the innermost cars "swing." They're designed to travel on rails which, from a distance, appear to be the "spokes" of the wheel.

So basically, it combines Ferris wheel with roller coaster. This was not at all what I needed to recover from the Cyclone.

My view from The Cage of Death, er... I mean the Wonder Wheel

From now on, the only NYC thrill ride for me will remain, as it has ever been, the subway.